Ways to Kill Wolverine.....

DEAD! I win!

I'm gonna kill him. I think it can be done. Wasn't there a comic where Wolverine was finally fed up with life and went to Scarlet Witch's mom to try to use magic to kill him? All that accomplished was getting into her knickers and then getting into beef with her man. All he had to do was come to me! I coulda killed him.

We know that no matter what, he always comes back. If you burn him clean, he still manages to regenerate. If you drown him, or suffocate him, give it some time, and he'll heal up. The man DIES, but his body can heal him and give him life again. It's crazy! We can't chop him into little pieces and separate the parts because his bones are laced with adamantium, and nothing can penetrate it. As long as there is some little residue of cells left somewhere on him, he'll grow back, but I have some ideas to kill him forever!

One basic way is to drown him, and keep him in an air tight water tank. He'll die, but if he never comes out, he never can heal. I say airtight because you don't want the water evaporating and you get that thing that happens to old snowglobes. If you get tired of looking at wolverine's body getting progressively pruney, cover it in cement, put it in a super high pressurized container made out of adamantium disguised as coral, and then drop it into the deepest part of the atlantic ocean where all the weird crazy looking fish and giant squids are. No one will ever find him, because they don't have the technology to get down there. If some scientist uses a robot to take pictures, and gets one of wolverine's tomb by accident, it just looks like more ocean coral junk.

Maybe I can't risk him being uncovered by some superhero or aliens, so I propose to throw him into a volcano. Since his dead skeleton is swimming in a molten sea, it will never have a rest point where it can regenerate enough for him to gain mobility. He's stuck in there, dead!

It is possible that the volcano might erupt, throw his skeletal remains off to the side somewhere where he can start to regenerate. I was thinking, what if I burn him for two hours just to make sure he's a nice clean skeleton, then dip him in adamantium?? The adamantium will seep into all the cracks and joints then completely cover the skeleton. We are left with a blobby statue looking thing. He can't regenerate because the adamantium is in the way. Also, no one can get him out because its adamantium. We know that once adamantium has been melted and forged, it can never be remelted again! If he never gets out, he can't resurrect and it's over!

Now, I think this way is foolproof. If nothing else, he will NEVER come back from my next idea. I figure he keeps coming back because no matter what, his brain is still in his head. Sure you can knock it around and give him a concussion, but its still going to heal. Even if he is burned clean, that brain of his remains in his unbreakable, mighty adamantium skull. I think this fact is what allows him to regenerate. I put this into consideration for my next plot. We know that the Egyptians would pull peoples brains out through their noses during the mummification process. Wolverine's brain is also accessible through his nose. There's no adamantium plates in the way from his nose canal to his mushy brain. I'll shove a tube up his nose and pump acid into his skull, completely melting the brain. In its place, I will pump in liquid adamantium. Once the adamantium fills his skull, it will dry leaving a metal lump of mass where his egg basket used to be. There is no place for his brain to regenerate, so there is no way he is going to come back. Then, I'll throw him in a vat of acid to clean him off. When clean, I'll put his skeleton in a display case and charge the neighborhood kids five dollars to come look at it.

He is dead, FOREVER. I win!